To lighten the tone a bit. . .

[velvetpage]

It's five minutes after you should have left for a semi-formal event - in this example, church. You're helping your small daughter (4) hike up her tights under her dress, and realize that she's not wearing any underwear. You confirm this with her. Her defense: "You didn't leave any out for me, Mommy!"

What do you do? Do you a) run upstairs with her, put some underwear on her, and make everyone even later, or do you b) acknowledge that the tights will keep anyone from figuring out that she's not wearing underwear, and just go, or c) grab a pair to take with you and put on her in the washroom when you get there, so the rest of the family won't be late?

In a similar vein - your small child has a potty-training accident in the mall, after you've believed them to be fully trained so you no longer carry a diaper bag. Do you: a) take them home immediately, wet; b) grab some clothes off the rack, take the tags off, change her, and then pay for the items; c) grab some clothes off the rack, pay for them, and then change her; d) continue on your merry way with a wet child; e) something else?

Comments

My vote

[melstra.livejournal.com]

I don't speak from experience, merely from the gut, but I think in the first instance, I'd grab the undies and change her when I got there. No sense making everyone else late...but I'd prefer that my 4 y/o wear underpants considering the little girl tendancy to pull her skirt over her head. (I might just opt to go without if the tights were indeed very dark).

In the second instance, it would depend on a) just how wet she was (and how much it showed) and b) whether or not there was any decently priced and appropriate clothing nearby. I wouldn't buy an expensive outfit just to change her,but if there was something around that wasn't too bad, I'd give in. Then I'd buy it and take her to the nearest washroom to change rather than changing and then buying.

Both frustrating quandries, though.

Re: My vote

[velvetpage.livejournal.com]

The tights were quite opaque, but I still changed her before we left.

The second was about a lady we saw at the mall yesterday, who was changing her daughter in the nursing room while Claire ate. She went with option b, which I would never have considered. I would have found the cheapest pair of pants around and paid for them first.

[kibbles.livejournal.com]

I'd maybe stick underwear in a purse, if anything.

And if the store had something on sale, if I was someplace cheap like kmart or Kid City or whatever I would buy something to change them with I guess. Kids can always use clothes, usually. If this is not possible, we go home.

I'm a big fan of not shopping with kids/going home when there are problems. This was even before Ted. Very rarely is something so important I can't go back again HOWEVER I also have a flexible schedule, or did -- maybe now my answer would be different since I live in a more remote area.

[kibbles.livejournal.com]

And yes, buy than change, I never would have considered option B but OH GOD HERE I GO on the off chance it was a child with sensory sensitivities to being wet, I could see B being plausible. HOWEVER if you have a child like that, you'd be more likely to bring dry stuff I'd think? Not sure.

I am just so used to knowing the reasoning behind weirdness sometimes, I try to look for a reason for someone acting odd. Like my slapping my kid on the back thing. I can imagine it, someone writing in LJ, "I saw this lady who's kid wouldn't sit still and was being very impatient in the fast food place and she started POUNDING on his back and then held him upside down. What is WRONG with parents today!" Heh.

[kibbles.livejournal.com]

I have a kid with something similar to autism and he is what they call 'sensory seeking', in other words intense sensory input makes him happy, to the point he wears a special vest that squishes him. So a good pounding on the back (open handed, not with a fist) makes him VERY happy.

I am a HUGE fan of 'whatever works' when it comes to parenting, within reason at least. There is really no one right way. And your friend is so LUCKY that she found the magic trick that works! I had suspected my kid was autistic and THOUGHT autistic kids didn't like being touched and all that and tried to be extra delicate around him which made him more anxious! It was when we went for a full screening at a special clinic that they explained it to me and it was like a lightbulb went off in my head. Life got MUCH easier after that one day...

[velvetpage.livejournal.com]

That's how I feel when I blow up at Elizabeth. I'm a teacher, for heaven's sake! I'm supposed to know what to do!

[lovmelovmycats.livejournal.com]

Interesting. I read about how autistic people have very different sensory needs than most people, in Temple Grandin's book Thinking in Pictures.

[tigerwolfvix.livejournal.com]

Hmmm...what shall my young inexperienced brain think of these options...?
Q-1) I think I'd take a pair with me to change her when we got there. Seems like the thing my mom would do, knowing that if she just plain didn't put some on me, I'd end up mooning my sunday school class to show them....

Q-2) Kinda depends. If I'm at a mall fairly far from home, I'd buy something cheap and covering to apply in a few minutes (like a pair of OMG-ON-SALE terribly ugly over sized pants). If I was somplace fairly close to home, I'd just pack up and get headed home. If the child is old enough to be fully potty trained, they're also old enough to learn that it may have been an accident, but that doesn't mean it's 100% ok...they still have to suffer some consequences (such as 15 minutes half naked in the car with an upset mommy while returning home...i'm not so cruel as to make the kid sit in mild acid just because they ooops-ed)

[grrl-next-door.livejournal.com]

Yikes.

1) Probably change at home beforehand. Or take a pair to church.

2) If she were really wet and stinky, I would take her home. If it was just a little spill, I'd maybe keep going if I didn't have much left to do in the mall. I'd buy clothes if they were something we could use, nearby and were inexpensive. But I never would have thought of changing the kid and paying on the way out.

[paka.livejournal.com]

c. and a. respectively?