Claire's tips for spreading the mess love

[velvetpage]

Get mommy to put a white outfit on you - or at the very least, white socks. Pastels can work in a pinch.

Put on your biggest smile and indicate hunger by chewing your fist.

Wear a bib - one of those fabric ones with plastic backing works well. It must be tied on, not velcroed or snapped, and it can't cover more than the collar area for this to be effective.

Ensure that Mommy is making something colourful. Carrots, peas, sweet potato - all of these work. Oatmeal doesn't, unless it's mixed with the above.

Don't let Mommy hold your hands. Much effort will be wasted freeing them from her grasp.

When the spoon comes near your mouth, grab it. The more fingers are involved, the better. Be sure to grab the bowl of the spoon. You get bonus points for grabbing the dish in Mommy's other hand at the same time.

Let go of the spoon when you have enough food on your fingers. If you got some on both hands, put one in your mouth and with the other, grab your toes. Giggle when Mommy protests. The admonition will die in the face of your extreme cuteness.

Let Mommy put a mouthful in your mouth. Swallow some of it, even. Smile at her praise. While smiling, pull your bib to the left. Then turn your face to the right and spit the rest out onto your shoulder. Flail your hands a bit, and get them in the spit-out food. Smear it on other parts of your clothing and on Mommy as she tries to clean you up.

Eat a few mouthfuls without protest, to lull Mommy into complacency and because this stuff is actually pretty tasty. It's all the best flavours of Mommy's Milk, separated and given texture! Spit some onto your bib. If you can pull it so you hit the reverse side and smear it under your bib, so much the better, but don't worry if you can't. Mommy has probably gotten wise to some of your tricks by now.

When Mommy starts saying things like, "Almost done!" and "What a good eater you are!" then it's time for the final tactic. Grab the spoon again, but this time, don't just let go. The spoon is begging to be launched at Mommy. That's what spreading the love is all about, right? Get Mommy's white t-shirt equally covered in orange.

Smile big as Mommy ruefully drags out the camera for a photo-op. This picture will be shown to the world at your high school graduation, so make it good. If there's any food left on your fingers, smear it in your hair as she takes the picture.

Enjoy the ensuing bath. You've earned it.

Comments

[merlyn4401.livejournal.com]

*This* is exactly why I sped through spoon feeding baby mush as quick as I possibly good, and got the boys on finger food. Ugh. Worst 3 months apiece ever.

[velvetpage.livejournal.com]

Claire's actually not nearly this bad. I tend to exaggerate when I'm trying to be funny. She rarely does more than one of these things at a time. :) And I love watching her chomp - she's loving the whole food experience.

This is along the lines of those tired, frazzled, unshaven, sans-make-up mommies who tell every pregnant lady how much time they're going to spend talking about baby poo, then finish up with, "It's the most wonderful thing I've ever done, and I wouldn't change a thing."

[neebs.livejournal.com]

I demand a picture of this, as I am laughing just reading about it! And let's face it, you know your kids are adorable and you're just looking for a reason to show them off, so now you have one. ;)

[velvetpage.livejournal.com]

This is actually an amalgam of Elizabeth's and Claire's messiest mush experiences, so I don't have a picture. I guarantee you will get one the first time she upends her bowl on her head, though. :)

[melstra.livejournal.com]

Wear a bib - one of those fabric ones with plastic backing works well. It must be tied on, not velcroed or snapped, and it can't cover more than the collar area for this to be effective.

Ah, but Claire, don't you realize that if it's a velcro bib, it's Sooooo easy to pull off? Then you can spread the love even more!! My mommy doesn't even bother with a bib half the time, because I pull them away so easily. The possibilities! Mwahahahaha!

Your pal,
Max

[velvetpage.livejournal.com]

Our velcro is hard to loosen. Tie-up bibs come loose very easily, though. :)

[blue-comet.livejournal.com]

I think I'm going to start feeding Holden some cereal in a week or two. Having you on my friends list is so great... you've already done the baby thing once before, and Claire is just enough ahead of Holden that I can see what you're going through with her and prepare myself for what is just around the corner.

[velvetpage.livejournal.com]

If he's sitting up fairly well when supported, looks interested in food, and is starting to lose the extrusion reflex, then he's ready. Another sign is if he starts eating more frequently. Good luck!

[mairesue.livejournal.com]

A hilarious read!!

Once I just finished feeding Symmie and cleaned up an especially messy meal but left my daughter's bowl of spaghetti just a little too close to his especially long arms and viola, had to clean up the whole mess again. Gah!

[velvetpage.livejournal.com]

Elizabeth did something like that a time or two. Fun and games, this parenting thing. :)

[r-caton.livejournal.com]

Beetroot and salad for those everlasting memories of mealtime joy. Still sloppin' at the age of 50+.

My niece tells me I must NEVER eat wings or ribs in public.