PoAC: Creating a culture of intelligence in your home

[velvetpage]

Many studies have pointed out over the years that the most important factor in a child's school success is found, not at school, but at home. If the parents value and facilitate education, the kids will get one - whether or not their schools are much good at it. While many schools have set out to buck this trend, and some have in fact succeeded in becoming a much more important factor in a good education than they had previously been, the trend remains something of a truism in education.

Which begs the question: what do good parents do, that facilitates the education of their child? It is my belief that parents who value education do a variety of key things to create a home culture where literacy, numeracy, and their backbone - the ability to think critically - are as essential to the atmosphere as oxygen. Here's a short list, divided loosely by age, but spanning the culture of the entire family.



Toddlerhood

Good parents provide a variety of toys to their toddlers - and then make sure the kids get time to play both with adults and on their own. It is crucial that kids develop a certain level of independent play during these years. Kids whose caregivers play with them all the time grow up unable to solve simple problems without adult help. They learn that it is a parent's job to entertain them - rather than their job to entertain themselves.

The toys in question need to be ones that spark two basic skills: creativity and speech. Playing with them should include reading, word games, finger plays, rhymes, songs, poems, and every other linguistic medium you can think of. If it gets them talking, it's a good toy. By this token, TV can become a learning tool - but only if you get your child talking about it. One of Elizabeth's earliest linguistic feats was to take the almost-language-free movie, "The Snowman," and narrate it - telling the child to get dressed, telling the fox when to run away, telling the snowman to fly, telling us when the Opas (Santas) were about to appear, and singing along to the theme music. Since practice makes improvement in this area as in all others, letting them "read" books aloud to you is a good exercise, because they are using the language they know to express what they see in the pictures. As they get older, it's important to start asking them what they think of what they're hearing/seeing, naming the emotions involved, pointing out cause and effect, and getting them to express opinions. A big part of this is listening to them and valuing their input. Offering a contradictory opinion is fine (indeed, necessary if they're to know how to express a contradictory opinion politely) if you do it in such a way as to give them a chance to revise theirs without feeling stupid. When you think they're right, say so. That's how they develop confidence in their ideas.

In terms of creativity, you've got a lot of room here. Blocks are great. So are Little People or other toys that let kids manoeuver the world around them and engage in pretend play. Art supplies are a must. Most 3-year-olds (indeed, many children younger than that) can handle a pair of blunt scissors, and they can be trained to clean up after themselves, so teach them to do cut-and-paste mosaics, totally freeform. Again, they need to feel that their contribution is good enough, so don't add to it or "help" them beyond an absolute minimum. Hang their creations on the fridge or whatever wall space you've got, and change them frequently. Frame a few that are especially pretty to you and keep them up forever. Put music on the stereo and encourage them to dance with their stuffed animals. Praise them when they change how they move based on the music's changing moods. Get them to tell you why they're dancing differently, and affirm that, too.

Teaching the alphabet and numbers is important, but IMO, it is less important than getting them to express and value their own thoughts. The alphabet song should be part of their rotation; counting the stairs as they go up them should be second nature, and as they seem ready for it, help them count objects they see in books or around their house. But most of this can come later without putting your child at a serious disadvantage. They're not dead in the water if they don't know all their letters by the time they start JK - but they should have confidence in their ability to manipulate language, understand and be understood, and express their vision of the world through art.

Primary School Age

This starts around the time they hit their fourth birthday, sometimes sooner if your little one was born late in the year. But the focus should not switch wholly to academics. It's now important that they start to develop a better understanding of phonics, but it's equally important to develop a love of reading and a culture of expressing ideas. Encourage their "why" phase by answering their questions as fully as you can, as often as you can. Turn the question back on them sometimes, too, and let them express their views. Turn everyday things into a game. Play "raisin math" with their snacks - adding, subtracting, even multiplying and dividing their snack foods. Empirical number concept is not as easy as it looks, and takes a lot of practice - so guide them as they practice and praise their successes. Give them bits of information - point out the racks of seeds in the grocery store and how the carrots in the produce section grew from seeds like that. Take them places, and talk about where you go together. Encourage reading as a way to find answers to information, and tell your kids where you got your information.

Which leads me to one of those all-ages points: let your kids see you engaging in a full intellectual life. They should see you reading the paper, surfing the net, and reading books of all types. They should see and be involved in adult discussions where real topics are debated and real opinions batted about, undergoing revision in the process. If writing is a part of your intellectual life, let them see you doing it, and let them read what you write (at least some of the time, when the writing is appropriate for their age.) As they grow older, they should be involved in kid versions of these discussions - where their opinions are valued but they are still expected to inform themselves using resources at hand. If you don't know an answer to a question, look it up together; if you think there's more than one right answer, keep looking until you find several and discuss them. You are your child's best model of how to live life; if you engage in intellectual pursuits, they will believe that this is normal and expected, and are likely to do the same.

It turns out I'm not as up to this essay as I thought I was when I started it, so I will return to older age groups at a later date.

Comments

[athelind.livejournal.com]

Some advice for those of us trying to "salvage" kids whose early years were NOT in such a culture would also be appreciated.

[velvetpage.livejournal.com]

Hmm. That's harder, but some of this can be done even when they're past the age in question.

You're talking about your - um - very active grandson, right? Play games that let him move and do thinking things at the same time - use big sticks or pieces of pool noodles to form letters and words on the lawn, garden with him, take him shopping, and tell him about your work and your education. Read every street sign you pass, and talk about the messages on billboards and what they mean. Read short books with him, and if he goes away in the middle of it, let him - but after a break, try to get him to come back to the book. Instill in him the idea that it's important to finish what you start, and better late than never if concentration is an issue. When concentration is a must, reduce his environment to as little stimulation as possible and refocus him on the task at hand as often as you have to. Then give him an active reward when he's finished the task, or finished the part of the task that the two of you decided on at the beginning of the session. (Asking him to concentrate for more than fifteen minutes is probably counter-productive, so set goals for each fifteen-minute span and then celebrate when he reaches them. If he drifts after ten minutes, reduce it to ten-minute spans, but set it up so he can achieve a real success - say, finishing 5 math questions - in a given time. He needs to know he can do it.) Most kids love playing "beat the clock", and will concentrate for five or ten minutes against the clock on a specific task that they're comfortable with, so use this tendency to help him with his schoolwork.

Hope that helps.

[ymf.livejournal.com]

*saving this*

I especially liked the idea about lettings kids dance with their stuffed toys d=

[velvetpage.livejournal.com]

It's one of the best ways to get my daughter away from the tv. :) When they're newborns, dancing with them is second nature. You put on a CD or two, and dance gently around the living room with a sleepy baby, and in no time, they're out like a light. As they get bigger, you don't stop - you just change how you're doing it, so it becomes an active thing. Eventually, when they reach toddlerhood, they'll dance on their own two feet, and they'll be well-versed in different rhythms and in the idea that people move to music.

Elizabeth wanted ballet music a while ago, so I put on Swan Lake for her. She danced, and when we came to the waltz, Mommy danced with her. I told her a (much reduced) version of the story, and we googled a picture of a swan so she could see what kind of bird I was talking about. It was a great learning experience, and all I needed was a few classical CD's that are very special to me to begin with.

[ymf.livejournal.com]

heh would you consider letting her learn ballet too? i wanted to when i was young but it was quite expensive (not sure if it's any better here), so i'm still regretting.

i liked how it went from just dancing to learning about ballets (=

[velvetpage.livejournal.com]

I'm going to consider ballet, and look into it for the fall, but there's another program called Music for Young Children that I'm even more interested in, so we'll see. I can't afford both, and I don't want to overload my kid, anyway.

[ymf.livejournal.com]

I think the one you mentioned sounds interesting too. I'm envious! (=