epochs of motherhood

[velvetpage]

I just spent fifteen minutes packing up the last six months of my daughter's life.

There were two-piece outfits, new fourteen months ago at her baby shower, which are now washed and worn. There were dresses, some of them worn several times, most only worn once simply because there were so many of them. There were two outfits that never got worn at all - they were still on the original hanger and still had tags. Both were outfits that would have fit in January but were designed for June. I put those into the "potential re-gift" box. There were items I bought, items my family bought, and items that were hand-me-downs from cousins or the mother of one of my students. Every single one evoked a certain moment in her life.

I packed away the little green jumper and blouse that my brother sent her for Christmas from Austria. I packed the pink rosebud dress that she wore at the age of 12 days, to my mother's wedding. I packed the yellow linen dress that was missing a button, so she never wore it at all. I packed the maroon velour dress that she wore to her aunt's wedding last fall, and the turtleneck I bought to go with it. I packed the dress with the hearts on it that a friend of the family made for her, and the yellow knit dress she wore to my best friend's wedding last summer. I packed five different sweaters, three knit by my mother, the other two products of the baby shower, all of them outgrown. These items went into what I'm calling my "treasure box." It is possible, though unlikely, that I will lend out items from the other boxes. These items, however, will never be lent out, except possibly to a close relative for a family occasion. They are my memories.

I set aside one item I would have liked to put in my treasure box, because it doesn't belong with my treasures. Twenty years ago, my grandmother knitted a pretty pink dress with a pineapple pattern on it. It must have taken weeks; the pattern is a very tight knit, and uses a tiny baby-weight yarn. My little sister wore it for her six-month baby pictures, and to Christmas events that first year. My grandmother is gone now - but her great-granddaughter wore that dress for family pictures last fall. I'm going to give it back to my mother; someday, my sister will want to dress her daughter in it.

I know the chances are good that another daughter of mine will wear these clothes. Some of them might even be worn by a son, like the two jean overalls she got for Christmas last year, or her bright yellow turtleneck. This isn't good-bye to these clothes, but in some ways, it's good-bye to my baby. She's grown and changed so much, and I take so much joy in that, every day - but I miss my baby. A part of me will miss each stage of her life as she outgrows it.

Now that I've made everyone else cry, too, I'm going to go put those boxes in the basement. (Note to self: buy some pieces of cedar to put in these boxes, so the bugs don't get at them. . .)

Comments

[pyat.livejournal.com]

I felt the same way when I put that broken Disney playset out in the trash...

[anidada.livejournal.com]

Oh, I know this feeling all too well. :( I'm planning to go over the bunny's stuff again this weekend, as she seems to have stretched overnight. It's hard to put it away, esp. since I really don't know if or when she'll ever have a sibling. *sigh*

We used to have these tiny wee babies, and now we've got bustling big girls! What the heck happened?! *boggle* The good thing is, when they sleep, they seem smaller than they are (well, at least in the face -- looking at the bunny all stretched out is what's prompting the urge to go through the clothes!).

Just be glad it isn't her crib you're packing up, yet! Now, that's a scary thought...

[velvetpage.livejournal.com]

We probably won't pack the crib up at all. It's the kind that converts to a toddler bed, so we'll convert it next year sometime, or sooner, and then when baby #2 arrives, we'll convert it back and get Elizabeth a big-girl bed. With any luck, our crib has six or seven more years left in it, for babies #2 and #3, and by that time, I'll be ready to see it go.

[anidada.livejournal.com]

That's cool! That's a good bit of planning, right there. :) Ours is a plain ol' crib (which we were given by some lovely friends, I'm not at all complaining) so at some point we're going to have to pack it up. Probably soon. I keep catching her in a ballerina pose with her foot up on the rail, and yes, the mattress is at its lowest setting... *eyeroll* Is Elizabeth at the escape stage, yet? It's a little hair-raising.

A friend of mine with a baby a couple of months younger was given one of those cribs that even converts to a double bed -- I can't wrap my brain around how that works, but it sounds like a neat idea. It's cherry, sleigh-bed style -- you can distinctly hear "chaCHING!" when you look at it. :P

I never was interested in readying a nursery -- what I really want to do is to make the perfect little girl's room... only funky. Not overly pink and foofy -- though I dream of French Provincial white-and-gold canopy beds, I dream of them bedecked in brightly-coloured saris. ;D That's the really cool part of having daughters -- we get to do stuff with them and for them that we would've loved as kids. Which will probably be about as popular with them as it was when our moms tried it on us, but anyway... *chuckle*

[velvetpage.livejournal.com]

We had fun with the nursery, but it's painted a fairly bold shade of mauve, with hand-painted hearts around the border to cover the rough spots in the walls. I think it will make the transition to little-girl-room quite well, if in fact it ever needs to - we might move Elizabeth to the redecorated office and put the new baby in there, instead.

Elizabeth doesn't actively try to escape, but I've caught her with her foot up high, too. I think the reason she's never tried to escape is simply that we get to her too fast when she wakes up, she doesn't really have the chance.

Ikea has some great, very low twin-size beds, that might be good for her - and they're under two hundred bucks. (At least one of them is under $100, but I'm not sure I'd trust that.)

I'm looking forward to fifteen or so years of decorating or helping her decorate! And a few more beyond that, for the others. . .

[anidada.livejournal.com]

I quite like Elizabeth's room. It's very peaceful and timeless, not babyish, which is always a plus. It'll work either for her or for her siblings, and save your decorating energy. At least until she discovers her inner interior decorator. :)

The easiest thing to do at first would be just to put the crib mattress right on the floor. Inelegant, but safe. I've seen the Ikea melamine trundle beds, in particular, up close (they remind me of the Little House books :), but they're all sharp corners and edges. The Brick has the "Princess Bouquet (http://www.thebrick.com/Application/Cart/BuyRoom.asp?TraderID=34DC92B9-3DBD-438F-AA0B-BD0F699D5896&ProductID=5B8596BD-211C-403F-8D18-D5B0BDF1B326&SellOrderId=B30942B1-20DF-44FF-AB93-7066903C2823&CategoryID=24E24C86-2CC1-492D-820B-FD3474D3F4A2&SiteCode=EN&CategoryTracking=4F061C5B%2D9BB4%2D48C5%2D8085%2D54B524089DD7%2C24E24C86%2D2CC1%2D492D%2D820B%2DFD3474D3F4A2)" collection, which is all French Provincial-style stuff (there's coupons on the website that get the beds down to $299... which is still "eek!", but cheaper than Sears, at least). I also like captain's beds (esp. this one (http://www.thebrick.com/Application/Cart/BuyRoom.asp?SiteCode=EN&ProductCode=502ISLAND), despite the price) -- now, if the two could only be combined... :D

[velvetpage.livejournal.com]

I like that captain's bed, though it seems very high for a toddler. I think I'd lay off anything like that for a year or two until she was a bit less likely to fall out of it.

There's one in the Ikea catalogue, white beadboard style, three drawers underneath, that I just love. It's $499, which is cheaper than the one from the Brick, but it has fewer features, too. Lots of hard edges, but very pretty.

Ah, well. We've got about a year and a half before we have to worry about it.

[anidada.livejournal.com]

Wow, I think we must've attracted the attention of Someone with this thread... We woke up late this morning, and the bunny wanted to look out the bedroom window. So we did, and she pointed and made inquisitive noises. I looked over at the house kitty-corner from us -- they're having a yard sale. They have a 22-month-old daughter, and they're moving in a couple of weeks. There was a four-poster headboard on the lawn. So I got us dressed, and over we went.

Long story short, I just scored a gorgeous, brand-new, twin size canopy bed -- everything but the mattress (it's got a boxspring) -- for $20! It's even got lilacs on the headboard and footboard -- utterly gorgeous!

How's that for a spot of luck?!

I know the bed you mean -- it's very pretty! I think they had that one in a style that pulled out to make a double bed, too, at one point, but I'm not sure if that was ever really available up here. Storage is a good thing -- but I agree, that one bed would be way too high. I just thought it was cool. ;D And the edges look rounded-off, which is unusual. The Brick has other beds more like the one from Ikea, btw -- I was very intrigued by one in cobalt blue (my favourite colour). I think they're around the same price as the 4-poster...

[velvetpage.livejournal.com]

Cobalt blue, in tableware, is wonderful. Cobalt in curtains is good, even cobalt as a pain colour has its good points. I would not be thrilled, though, with cobalt on my furniture, for the simple reason that if you get sick of it, it's a pain in the neck to change. However, I've looked at that one myself, because the price is good. It's still on the table.

[kesmun.livejournal.com]

Awwwwwww. I want takibabe to read this stuff. Shriek just turned three, and she's going through a lot of this kind of thing, too.

[sassy-fae.livejournal.com]

I remember the day I heard about Elizabeth's birth.. is it really that long ago already?
She's still so little! The baby stage will only truly be over when she says "Mom! I'm not gonna wear that! Eww!" ;)

[velvetpage.livejournal.com]

True . . . but the packing-up thing is still depressing.

It's tough to realize that the first kids I ever bought shower gifts for out of my own money are now teenagers. It goes so fast, and I still miss my newborn.

Just to put this in perspective, about this time last year, a friend of mine had a baby. I held her for two minutes, and she curled up against my chest and went to sleep. I cried because Elizabeth was too big to do that and wasn't a newborn anymore!

[sassy-fae.livejournal.com]

Aww.. Babies are perfectly designed to tug on heartstrings. The first baby I remember (one of my cousin's kids) is over 20 now. I still picture him as 5!