empathy, toddler style

[velvetpage]

I came downstairs with a load of laundry to discover Elizabeth sitting on the futon, crying her eyes out in great wrenching sobs. I dropped the sheets and went to find out what was wrong.

"The mommy puppy is sad, Mommy! Her puppies went away!"

She was inconsolable until Babe went over to Fly and asked her if he could call her mom. Then she was all smiles again.

She's her mother's daughter, this one.

Comments

[spiralsongkat.livejournal.com]

Oh, this is so familiar. We've reached the point where, as soon as I see anyone being sad on one of the Maiden's television programs, I just drop whatever I'm doing, sit down, and make my lap available, because I know she'll be in tears! Usually, she doesn't want to stop watching if it's a story that interests her, but she surely doesn't want to face all that sadness alone.

Maybe you and I should start a support group: Empaths Raising Empaths! :)

[velvetpage.livejournal.com]

I love that she feels things deeply. She'll get more tears out of it, but she'll get more joy too. I have been known to remove some movies from her line of vision for this reason, but she asked for Babe even though it wasn't in sight, and I didn't have the heart to refuse. And she loved it.

Empaths raising empaths. I love it. :)

[mizheekay.livejournal.com]

Yes, the life of an empath is a little nutty, but I wouldn't trade it. My kids know that if someone cries that I always cry... I think it's part of why they talk to me. It's an exhausting but rich way to live. My specialist at sunnybrook calls extreme cases like me 'empathia' - when I was a kid I didn't get that feelings belonged to people- they were just in the room like light or smell. I always thought of them as another one of the senses. It took me a long time, and many painful experiences, to figure out that the rest of the world didn't pick up on stuff like that. You will have to make sure to teach her healthy walls and boundaries as she grows up- she is so lucky to have a parent who sees what is going on. I didn't get that healthy wall thing until much damage had been done. Even now I'm working with my new therapist because I've kind of internalized my sister's trauma, and I started having flashbacks that are not in fact mine- I need to be really cautious about keeping her and I separate in my mind and in my heart.

[mizheekay.livejournal.com]

By 'my kids' I obviously mean my students... no kids yet, not for a few years.

[velvetpage.livejournal.com]

Every teacher refers to their class as "their kids". Teachers always understand that. In fact, I've heard teachers who start to specify which kids they mean when the context is obscure. They don't refer to their own family as their kids - they use clearer referents. It's funny, and sweet. :)

[velvetpage.livejournal.com]

Especially with something really traumatic like that, I can understand how it would be difficult. Being there for her and being right in her heart are two different things.

I was explaining Terry Fox to my students the other day, and started to tear up. One of them asked why I looked like I was going to cry. I haven't told my kids that I'm pregnant yet, and though I'm always sensitive to a sad story, I'm much more sensitive when I'm pregnant. I had to simply say that sad stories affected me deeply, and that my tears were honest ones and I hoped they were never afraid to show their feelings. I make jokes sometimes in class about how a sad part in a book will make me cry; for that matter, any serious emotion in a book is likely to make me cry. I've read Anne of Green Gables at least thirty times in my life, and I cry every single time Matthew dies! My kids get used to it, and I rake over the goals anyone who giggles about someone in my class crying over a book or some such.

[kesmun.livejournal.com]

I'm likely to have quite empathic kids, too. One song line my husband says is about me (oddly enough, it's sung by a John married to a woman with my first name...) is "I love the way that you cry at sappy old movies you've seen hundreds of times." I cry every time Matthew dies, too.

I've been known to joke that I cry at sad commercials. Heh.

[velvetpage.livejournal.com]

Hmm. That describes me, too. :) And the sappier the movie, the more I love it.

[kesmun.livejournal.com]

Hee.

I actually cry when Goose dies in Top Gun. Every time.