Interviews and all that jazz

[velvetpage]

I have come to the conclusion that the interview process is more trouble than it's worth.

I have done eight interviews for jobs within my own board, for which I was qualified and in which I was very interested. That's in addition to the five jobs for which I applied, but did not get called for an interview. I have yet to be offered any of these jobs. And right now, I truly don't care.

I know that by June 25th, the board will have placed me an a job which suits the specifications I give them as closely as possible - having placed everyone with more seniority than me first, of course. Worst case scenario is that the new school is no better than the current one. I will still have had a summer home with my daughter, who will hopefully be starting to speak a few words of French by then. So I'm no longer going to let this process sap my energy. My one remaining interview is not worth the stress of extra planning.

I feel the way I imagine my kids start feeling after failing test after test after test. After a while, a D becomes a good mark.

That is really sad. Or would be, if I could summon up the energy to care.

Comments

[velvetpage.livejournal.com]

Intellectually, I know that this isn't really about failure. I think my biggest problem with this school in total has been the simple fact that I'd never failed at anything I tried until I started teaching at this school - and suddenly, events which could easily be interpreted as failures were weekly occurences. It's hard to go from "work reasonably hard and you'll succeed" to "you need tons of extra help from a lot of other people to get by, and the emotional toll will still be more than you've ever paid before." It feels like failure, and the ability to see it as a learning experience takes more practice than I've had.