A cuppa tea!

[velvetpage]

I read with surprise that someone on my friends list, who shall remain nameless, was actually surprised to find that tea tasted better with milk than with cream. I asked myself: self, how is it possible to not know this? And my self answered: this poor unfortunate soul did not grow up with the benefit of a very-English grandmother to show her how to do it properly. My self pointed out that I was in a perfect position to enlighten this sad state of ignorance.

Accordingly, then, How To Make a Proper Cup of Tea (with variations)

1. Boil the water, preferably in an electric kettle. It must be actually bubbling when you go on to the next step.
2. Put tea bag into the teapot. (Note: teapot and kettle are two separate items. Do not simply insert tea bag into the kettle!)
3. Pour still-bubbling water over the tea bag. Number of tea bags varies according to taste, but the rule of thumb is one tea bag for two cups of tea.
4. Put the lid on the teapot and allow tea to steep for two to four minutes, again depending on taste. Any longer than four minutes and it will get bitter. Any less than two and you might as well just be pouring the water over a teabag in a cup. (Who on earth makes tea like that? Sheesh!!)
5. This is important enough to warrant its own step: do not squeeze the teabag or stir the tea to make it stronger. It will certainly make it stronger, but it will also make it bitter.
6. Pour steeped tea into a teacup. (Purists say the cup requires a saucer. My only requirement is that it be the right size. I often use coffee mugs for this. My grandmother would be spinning in her grave at that admission, but there you have it.)
7. Add sugar, milk, or lemon juice to taste. (Note: cream does not appear in that list, nor does whitener. Cream overpowers the flavour and brings out every last bitter note in the tea. It's just gross. Nothing heavier than 2% is acceptable for a good cuppa.) Certain flavours of tea require less of these items than others. I do not, for example, put milk in Earl Grey. I put extra milk in Chai.)
8. Drink when it is just cool enough not to burn your tongue.

Warning: do not use leftover tea by warming it up in the microwave. It will be black as tar and very bitter. The only acceptable uses for cold tea are watering African Violets and staining paper for history projects. It works very well for both of these, though.

So there you have it. Velvet's English Black Tea Method, from a second-gen British emmigrant.

Comments

[velvetpage.livejournal.com]

That's a good trick to know. I'm going to file that one away.