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[personal profile] velvetpage
I read with surprise that someone on my friends list, who shall remain nameless, was actually surprised to find that tea tasted better with milk than with cream. I asked myself: self, how is it possible to not know this? And my self answered: this poor unfortunate soul did not grow up with the benefit of a very-English grandmother to show her how to do it properly. My self pointed out that I was in a perfect position to enlighten this sad state of ignorance.

Accordingly, then, How To Make a Proper Cup of Tea (with variations)

1. Boil the water, preferably in an electric kettle. It must be actually bubbling when you go on to the next step.
2. Put tea bag into the teapot. (Note: teapot and kettle are two separate items. Do not simply insert tea bag into the kettle!)
3. Pour still-bubbling water over the tea bag. Number of tea bags varies according to taste, but the rule of thumb is one tea bag for two cups of tea.
4. Put the lid on the teapot and allow tea to steep for two to four minutes, again depending on taste. Any longer than four minutes and it will get bitter. Any less than two and you might as well just be pouring the water over a teabag in a cup. (Who on earth makes tea like that? Sheesh!!)
5. This is important enough to warrant its own step: do not squeeze the teabag or stir the tea to make it stronger. It will certainly make it stronger, but it will also make it bitter.
6. Pour steeped tea into a teacup. (Purists say the cup requires a saucer. My only requirement is that it be the right size. I often use coffee mugs for this. My grandmother would be spinning in her grave at that admission, but there you have it.)
7. Add sugar, milk, or lemon juice to taste. (Note: cream does not appear in that list, nor does whitener. Cream overpowers the flavour and brings out every last bitter note in the tea. It's just gross. Nothing heavier than 2% is acceptable for a good cuppa.) Certain flavours of tea require less of these items than others. I do not, for example, put milk in Earl Grey. I put extra milk in Chai.)
8. Drink when it is just cool enough not to burn your tongue.

Warning: do not use leftover tea by warming it up in the microwave. It will be black as tar and very bitter. The only acceptable uses for cold tea are watering African Violets and staining paper for history projects. It works very well for both of these, though.

So there you have it. Velvet's English Black Tea Method, from a second-gen British emmigrant.

(no subject)

Date: 2005-03-18 05:27 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] r-caton.livejournal.com
After drinking tea, rinse pot but never never scrub or scour inside pot. A veteran pot will acquire a black patina inside which enhances the flavour of the brew.
We had a chap at work who applied the principle to his tea mug until the Health & Safety officer condemned it. This would be the late '70s early '80s when political correctness infested H&S thinking....

(no subject)

Date: 2005-03-18 05:42 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] velvetpage.livejournal.com
Sorry, can't handle that thought. I do occasionally scour inside my teapot. When I can no longer figure out what colour it was supposed to be, that's when I take a scrubbing pad to it.

(no subject)

Date: 2005-03-18 11:42 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] r-caton.livejournal.com
Mum has a habit of cleaning mugs with a scouring pad. Once scoured, ceramics and melamine always retain that "just used yesterday and not washed yet" look. It's part of the same mindset that advocates scraping off a nonstick griddle with a knife and complaining that it just isn't non stick...and after a while it isn't....

Sorry. it's one of those habits that Mum has stuck to throughout her life and the life of every nice damned non stick pan I've ever bought.

Oh, and our teapot is a dark brown traditional Sadler of a type no longer made.

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