Hypermenorrhea

[velvetpage]

Hypermenorrhea is sitting through a very important hour-long meeting, all the while calculating the fastest route to the washroom to deal with the inevitable gush when you stand.

Hypermenorrhea is never bothering to buy anything but the overnight-sized pads and super-sized tampons.

Hypermenorrhea is always wearing double protection.

Hypermenorrhea is carrying extra clothing or calling in sick on heaviest days.

Hypermenorrhea is fearing the consequences of a good night's sleep on your mattress and bedding.

Hypermenorrhea is never getting a good night's sleep because every time you shift, you're worried about accidents.

Hypermenorrhea is getting up to a crying child and having to stop at the washroom on the way to comfort her.

Hypermenorrhea is knowing every trick in the book for getting blood out of fabric.

Hypermenorrhea is having a mental catalogue of the side effects of each type of iron pill on your own body.

Hypermenorrhea is not waiting for a doctor to diagnose anemia, but taking iron pills starting the day the bleeding starts to head it off.

Hypermenorrhea is having people tell you that you must be hemorrhaging if you're bleeding that much - and thinking it's actually lighter than last month.

Hypermenorrhea is taking more than the recommended dose of cough syrup, because every cough causes a gush.

Hypermenorrhea is getting pregnant as a way of stopping your periods for a year or two.

Hypermenorrhea is mentioning what's making you sick to your grandmother, and learning that she had the same thing and so did her mother.

Hypermenorrhea is seriously considering the benefits of a DIY hysterectomy.

Hypermenorrhea is wanting to poke out the eyes of, or at least switch uteri with, the next person who bemoans the medicalization of normal bodily functions like menstruation, or suggests that you see your period as a spiritual connection to Mother Earth.

Comments

[frolicnaked.livejournal.com]

Hypermenorrhea is menstruating with enough force that your vagina pushes out the overflowing menstrual cup it contains.

Hypermenorrhea is putting down a towel *plus* a garbage bag for period sex and staining your mattress pad anyway.

Hypermenorrhea is starting the day with a sweater wrapped around your waist -- so that by the time you bleed through your pants (at 10am), the "shield" is already in place.

And I'm actually sharing this one in confidence, but:

Hypermenorrhea is *not recognizing* having a miscarriage because you always bleed this much (or more).

[velvetpage.livejournal.com]

On a number of occasions, I called Telehealth (a triage number where a registered nurse finds out what's up with you and tells you if you need to be seen right then or can wait until morning, or Monday, or whatever.) Every time, they asked about grey material in the blood, and every time, I knew exactly what they were getting at - and had absolutely NO CLUE if it was happening, because the volume was too great. I was pretty sure I wasn't pregnant each time, because we were pretty careful. But the carefully-worded questions to rule out a miscarriage always caused me more suffering than any other part of those conversations.