Preserving a comment for posterity

[velvetpage]

This is me, going public with my change of faith. This entry is not filtered. It's not even friends-locked. I do hope that people who read it will respect that.

The comment:

When a right-wing church in Colorado was targeted by a walkaway with significant mental health problems, he was shot to death by a security guard. That is, a CHURCH thought it was a reasonable expenditure of their money, which came from donations of congregants, to hire someone to protect them with guns.

Contrast that with the response of the UU church in Knoxville, Tennessee, where a gunman was subdued and immobilised until the police could arrive, or the response of the Amish schoolgirls who volunteered to go first in the hopes that their younger classmates would be spared, or their parents who made sure the gunman's widow and children were welcome and cared for and had food to eat - and you'll see far more Christian love in the latter two examples than in the first.

It's HARD to be a Unitarian. It's HARD to believe that whatever you decide to practise, faith-wise, is just about as likely to be right as the next guy's religious practice, and it's HARD to really believe that that's okay. It's HARD to know that the people around you look down on you, possibly even pray for your soul or believe you're a cultist, because you insist on being a seeker, who may or may not ever find. It's HARD to remember that not being an evangelical means you have to accept those who are, without trying to convert them to your way of thinking.

In today's climate, attaching yourself to a church and believing what they tell you to believe is relatively easy, at least publicly; what goes on inside your own head may not be so easy, of course. Committing yourself to a lifetime of religious uncertainty is not wishy-washy or "not really believing much of anything." It's laying your soul open for all to see, and that's not a wishy-washy thing to do.

Comments

[bodhifox.livejournal.com]

Being a UU is much more difficult than belonging to a church that tells you how it is in everything. I've attended two that were near where I lived, but there's not one near now or I probably would be here. Good luck to you on your continued walk down your own spiritual path.

[kibbles.livejournal.com]

As a member of another church that doesn't tell you what to do, it is a matter of two extremes, it can be very hard IF DONE RIGHT, otherwise, it's really easy. Some people are drawn to faiths like ours because it's 'easier'.

They miss so much, though, when they do that.

(By the way, I'm Quaker. They're similar, and so is UCC, United Church of Christ, so if you need an open spiritual home, those are two other faiths that you may find good fits. )

[kibbles.livejournal.com]

What do you say to a post like this? Congrats? :D

The random warm fuzzy thoughts, I can't put them into words, I guess the closest is "I am holding you in the light" but not in the "praying for you to change" way, but just because that's where I already see you, an that's where you are, you know? "Keeping you in the light" maybe?

[velvetpage.livejournal.com]

I love that image - holding me in the light. I still need that. Thank you.

[kibbles.livejournal.com]

I'm telling you, there are some days I think I am Quaker because of the mundane things, like the language, and the silent worship (what parent doesn't appreciate that). Actually, a Quaker related friend on LJ will use 'thee' in some comments to me, an I know EXACTLY what she is conveying and it makes me all happy inside. :)

[velvetpage.livejournal.com]

I love the image of "welcoming silence" at the UU church, too. I love to use my voice in worship - it's one of the reasons I stayed so long at the Salvation Army - but I crave that silence.

[catarzyna.livejournal.com]

It's laying your soul open for all to see, and that's not a wishy-washy thing to do.

It definitely isn't. Kudos for standing up for your beliefs and for your need to continue searching for meaning.

[kibbles.livejournal.com]

When you mention the Amish, I think of something I read a while back, not sure where, but it said "a true Christian isn't afraid to die". And I think that is how those Amish live their lives. I'm not at that point yet, may never be.

[velvetpage.livejournal.com]

I used to crave that kind of surety, because I was told that I was supposed to have it, that it was a marker of true faith. I don't think I'm willing to say that a true Christian should be unafraid to die, anymore than I'm willing to define what a true Christian looks like. I suppose that's one of the answers I'm seeking - and probably one of the ones I won't find until it's my turn to die.

[kibbles.livejournal.com]

Well I don't like the true anything either, but I understand the sentiment behind it. And it helps keep me focused on being a pacifist. For someone with as much anger as I have, that's important.

I don't think I am AFRAID anymore, at this point I just don't want to, I'd miss everyone too much, and I don't want Ted to be alone.

[r-caton.livejournal.com]

May you find, or be shown, that which you seek.

[athelind.livejournal.com]

For some, the seeking IS the finding.

[quaero-verum.livejournal.com]

Wonderful post.

My prayer for you? That you find what you are seeking.

Because in the end, everyone is seeking the same thing. Most just don't know it.

[velvetpage.livejournal.com]

I agree with that, so long as I can qualify it: we're seeking the same thing, but we might find it in different ways.

[quaero-verum.livejournal.com]

Well, I am not a Unitarian. However, I am a Universalist.

So I definitely agree with you. ;-)

[paka.livejournal.com]

I'm glad you're feeling comfortable with stuff! The Unitarians always seemed a bit more like how you see the world, anyways.

[loxian.livejournal.com]

"In my Father's house are many mansions: if it were not so, I would have told you." (John, 14:1(King James)) Good luck.

[velvetpage.livejournal.com]

I love the idea of going up to the Muslim mansion, or the RC one, or the Orthodox one, or the Salvation Army one, and having a laugh with my old friends about how silly we all were to think that God wouldn't find a way to bring all Her children back to Her.

[melstra.livejournal.com]

*nod* Ditto
And congratulations for feeling comfortable enough to share your journey publicly. May the light continue to help illuminate that journey.

[kibbles.livejournal.com]

See, when you say 'her' I think of Alainis Morrisette. :D

[loxian.livejournal.com]

I am Roman Catholic (but you can see from my user name that I have... issues with polytheism); my ex husband and my children are militant Russian Orthodox; my mother, living downstairs, is an evangelical atheist; the rest of my family are Church of Scotland presbyterians, and we are all convinced we are right - thank God for the many mansions. (I always think of Alanis Morrisette too.)

[kibbles.livejournal.com]

I can't see from the user name -- please enlighten?? :)

[loxian.livejournal.com]

Loxian = epithet of Greek god Apollo.

[kibbles.livejournal.com]

Ah, I was only getting Enya related hits on google. Thanks!

[loxian.livejournal.com]

Enya as in Irish warbler from back in the day? How unexpected. What can she have to do with Greek gods, I'm wondering? I'm off to try and replicate your google hits.

[mar2nee.livejournal.com]

too funny. i wasn't before, but sure will now! I loved that movie.

[scodiddly.livejournal.com]

Welcome aboard! On one hand, it's "easy" when you get to define your own faith. On the other hand, it's hard because you have to figure it out for yourself.

In the aftermath of the Tennessee UU shooting I'm somewhat distressed that it happened... at my own UU church I've found myself eyeing visitors a little at times as if I felt they posed some sort of threat. I'm not proud of that, though I'm also very proud of how it played out at the Tennessee church. It's one thing to put your faith in some known solution (guns), another to put your faith in your faith itself. And you know what? The shooter didn't get very many shots off at all before being tackled, and the congregation as a whole wasn't at risk for some kind of shootout crossfire situation. And the final outcome was much more in line with original Christian teachings, because instead of "suicide by cop", the shooter is alive to have a second chance at redemption.

[velvetpage.livejournal.com]

On one hand, it's "easy" when you get to define your own faith. On the other hand, it's hard because you have to figure it out for yourself.

I've always questioned what I was told, and either believed and lived it with everything I had (pushing down the niggling little doubts) or rejected it out of hand. The problem I've been having is that belonging to the Salvation Army led people (especially others in the Army) to assume I believed most of what that church teaches. Just being their felt like a lie, and I feel now like I'm telling the truth. The new problem thus created is that it's a hard truth for my family to hear. They're worried about me, and I can't do anything to alleviate that, because I don't believe the platitudes that might comfort them. That's the hardest part - separating myself from the community I've grown up in, that is integral to the identity of my family.

[velvetpage.livejournal.com]

Also, forgive the question, but: do I know you?

[scodiddly.livejournal.com]

You might know me; though I'm not sure either. I've come across your journal on dagoski's friends list. I myself used to live in Ann Arbor and was a regular on Grex, if that helps any.

[velvetpage.livejournal.com]

Okay, that tells me enough to know how you found me. :) I've never been to Ann Arbor or frequented Grex.

[hendrikboom.livejournal.com]

Contrast that with the response of this church for a minute:

You might want to edit this a bit if it's for posterity. Posterity will not have context, and will not know that this church is the Tennessee Valley Unitarian-Universalist Church where a shoot-up occurred. And posterity may also not know what "this church"'s response was -- immobilizing the attacker, doing nothing more to him, and calling the police.

[hendrikboom.livejournal.com]

Since you said you were going public, I felt free to link to this from http://hendrikboom.livejournal.com/10155.html. Feel free to tell me if you prefer me to delete the link.

[velvetpage.livejournal.com]

Go ahead and leave it up. And you're right, I will edit it.

[mar2nee.livejournal.com]

This is so sad, what has happened at a few churches over the last while.
I got an email from the local UU church, there's going to be a special chalice lighting this week, and I think it also said that they are waiting to hear what is needed, and are hoping to be helpful in some way.
I activly avoid the news, so everything I know about this I've learned from your blog and that one church email. Thanks.

[velvetpage.livejournal.com]

Let me know when the chalice lighting is; I'd like to go. I really should get myself on that email list.

[mar2nee.livejournal.com]

This Sunday.

I got on the email list when I filled out a membership form. There might be another way - try to church website for contact information.