You're right about the leisure time and lifespan factors playing a role here. I explained to my students the other day that the job of a housewife before WWII was a full-time one, because most of the machines and conveniences we use today that make it possible to have both partners working outside the home simply didn't exist - clothing was handwashed and often hand-sewn, food was consistently prepared from scratch and could not be stored very long before going bad, marketing had to be done every day or two as a result, etc, etc. The discussion came about because a few of them uttered the term "housewife" in a rather nasty tone of voice, and I wanted to nip that in the bud - sorry, guys, you don't get to look down on a woman who worked twelve-hour days or longer and had a 25% chance of dying in childbirth at some point in her life.
Of course, that's the factor you didn't mention. While marriage might have been "till death do us part" before the sexual revolution, death was much closer than it was now, and not just in terms of life expectancy. Some people did live into their nineties, but many women died in childbirth, many people of all ages died of diseases that are now preventable, etc, etc - there were just as many blended families in America in 1900 as there are now, except that they were blended because the partners had been widowed.
All of this means a different approach to monogamous marriage. You don't go into it on a whim after being asked by a near-stranger, as happened regularly in the past; you go into it after several years of getting to know someone, discussing expectations, and choosing how much to commit. I believe it can still work - I'd better believe that, hadn't I? - but I am not my grandmother or my great-grandmother, and my marriage will reflect the different person that I am.
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Date: 2006-03-12 12:12 pm (UTC)Of course, that's the factor you didn't mention. While marriage might have been "till death do us part" before the sexual revolution, death was much closer than it was now, and not just in terms of life expectancy. Some people did live into their nineties, but many women died in childbirth, many people of all ages died of diseases that are now preventable, etc, etc - there were just as many blended families in America in 1900 as there are now, except that they were blended because the partners had been widowed.
All of this means a different approach to monogamous marriage. You don't go into it on a whim after being asked by a near-stranger, as happened regularly in the past; you go into it after several years of getting to know someone, discussing expectations, and choosing how much to commit. I believe it can still work - I'd better believe that, hadn't I? - but I am not my grandmother or my great-grandmother, and my marriage will reflect the different person that I am.