Jan. 30th, 2010

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Behind us at Manor di Grimaldi is an enraged witch hunter, an out-of-work vivisectionist turned outlaw, and plenty of chaos both magical and mundane. That graceful, well-appointed den of corruption is aflame, its owner is probably dead by the spew of the troll she kept in her basement, its visitors and servants torn to shreds or burnt to charcoal or, in a few lucky instances, fled. And did I mention the creatures set loose from the menagerie?

I suspect Lorandara and I are quickly acquiring the reputation of the wrath of the gods on Tobarro. This is the third time we've left a house under less than auspicious circumstances though we have been in the city only five days. Furthermore, it must be noted that that analysis does not take into account the horror rained down on the D'Naufragios after we were quit of them.

I spent the day after Lorandara took off with Mallion simply passing the hours in the house. I met with a banker of a house the Imholiens have dealt with in the past, and arranged to give him half our cargo and have him sell the other half as collateral on a loan to repair our ship and purchase a new one. I do not know if that part of the loan will in fact materialize, as it is dependent on approval from the patricide in Marienberg and he may not give it. In any case, we have enough right now to repair our ship, hire some additions to our crew, and set sail from this accursed city; the which I hope to see happen with the morning tide.

It was later in the day, while I was making myself charming with the ne'er-do-well nobles that Lady Grimaldi keeps around to amuse her, that the lady and the Doctor invited me to see the special menagerie. I went, unsuspecting. I became conscious of the presence of two footmen behind me even as Dr. Plith opened the secret door to a flight of stairs, the which was hidden behind a bookcase. The light of avid anticipation in the Doctor's and the Lady's eyes caused me to halt, suddenly wary, and refuse to descend a single step. Upon closer questioning, the Lady admitted that the intent was not to have me visit the menagerie, but to have me join it.

I was too busy for a few moments to be glad of the advice my father gave me many years ago: do not go about unarmed in the homes of those whose loyalties are suspect. I did not have my foil - alas, it is still in the manor alongside my bow - but I did have my daggers. I drew them and used them to fight clear of the stairs. The footmen were unarmed, a significant oversight on the part of the Lady but understandable, given that guests do not usually go armed about the house, and the Doctor had a pistol.

He fired it at my head.

My mother claimed it to be my greatest character flaw, that when pressed, I went on the attack. Mallion never understood it, and Valadar was too much of a worm to attack anyone openly, so the only approval I got was from Father. He would have been proud of me this night, I think. Grievously wounded, I still retained the presence of mind to slice at the Doctor, injuring him badly in the arm that held the firearm. Then I ran for the front door.

I reached it to find a witch doctor in the front courtyard, with an entourage from the night watch and a warrant for my arrest under suspicion of the murder of the pig Tibault.

I informed him that I was escaping chaos, not causing it, and that I had information about a menagerie of chaos-filled creatures within that very house. I wished to use the information to buy my freedom, but he was having none of that; I decided to rely on noble hauteur and simple protestations of innocence to back up my claim. He went into the house and had two of his men bring me; I went willingly, lacking the strength to resist so many in any case and trusting in fate to provide me an escape. Dr. Plith led them to the secret passage, then closed it behind him; it was I who opened it for them. The witch hunter followed the doctor while the men-at-arms and I were approached by Lady Grimaldi.

It would seem she is a conjurer of chaos. She had with her two beings, whose manner and features I will not relate lest the horror of them overwhelm me again. It overwhelmed the men-at-arms who held me, and they released me as they backed away.

My character flaw reasserted itself and I charged the first of the beings. I do not think I killed it, though I opened its head and arm. The other one turned into the hallway, where I believe it must have killed the other two men-at-arms of the night watch. My action gave courage to my erstwhile captors, who charged the beast.

I came to my senses at that moment and fled in the direction of the dining room. I had just reached it when the noise from the front hall escalated. I heard Lorandara calling my name and saw a flash of light before I closed the door; I was not about to reach her that way, but the dining room was lined with windows and escape was near at hand. I threw a chair through a window and prepared to follow it, praying to Hysh that the fall would not kill me in my injured state.

I did not act quickly enough. The witch hunter burst through the door. Behind him I could see a troll, charging in the direction of the hallway, leaving scattered in his wake some three smoking masses of human flesh that had once been Lady Grimaldi and the two men-at-arms who had held me. The witch hunter had escaped, and I have rarely witnessed such anger. Claiming that he would take at least one chaos-tainted noble with him tonight, he grabbed me. Then he ordered the two servants in the room to fetch oil.

I do not know why they did not simply exit by a back door, but servants are accustomed to taking orders and I suppose they obey whoever seems to be in charge. They fetched it while I struggled, eventually breaking free even as the witch hunter began to light the cleansing fires to destroy the house and everything in it. Whether it was the will of the far-away gods of the elves or my body's memory of similar feats of acrobatics, it was enough to keep me from further injury as I dove through the broken window. I ran for the gate, still bleeding and bloody, leaving the witch hunter too engrossed in firing the house and killing the troll to follow.

At the gate was a well-appointed carriage, and standing beside it were my banker and Captain Tidurion. I dove into the carriage and bid it wait a few moments for Lorandara, who I hoped had witnessed my flight across the courtyard and would shortly join us. She did, and with curtains drawn against curious eyes, we made our way back to the port.

Our ship is as yet unrepaired, though barely seaworthy. Ensconced in our own cabin, Lorandara has healed the most grievous of my wounds and we are restoring ourselves to the appearance expected of ladies. Shortly we shall meet with Tidurion to discuss our next course of action.

For the first time in six days, I am certain that we are among friends.
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A certain facebook poll pointed me towards Rick Mercer's show "Talking to Americans," which happily is available on Youtube. I've seen it before, of course, but it's comedy gold even though it's about nine years old.

I've been laughing long and loud.

The best part is when he gets governors of various states to congratulate Canada on absurd things. For example, he got Mike Huckabee in Arkansas to congratulate Canada on preserving its national igloo. The bits at Harvard and Princeton, where politics and history students sign petitions against the Toronto Polar Bear Hunt, are simply priceless.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OetNV8vf9y8

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