A small note on respect

This point brought to you by a debate in booju. It started out asking if parents would run back into a burning home to save their pets, but the thread I got involved in was actually saying that some people wouldn't tell the firefighters that there were pets still in the home. The reasoning is that they wouldn't want the firefighters to risk their lives for the pets, so they wouldn't inform the firefighters that the animals were even there.

Simply put, it's disrespectful.

Part of a firefighter's job is to evaluate risks. They're equipped and experienced to tackle much higher risks than you or I. If they don't think they can save Fluffy, they won't go in after Fluffy. Do they sometimes make mistakes? Yes. And they sometimes pay the ultimate price for those mistakes. But at the end of the day, it's their decision to make, not mine. I don't have the right skill set to make the decision for them.

By not telling them an important piece of information, not only am I dooming Fluffy to a horrible death, I'm also affecting the firefighters' ability to evaluate risk. I'm trying to do their job for them, rather than letting them do it for themselves. Any decision that involves taking on oneself a decision that should be left to the professional at hand is disrespectful of that professional. It's saying you don't trust them to be able to do their jobs, which in this case include protecting their own lives above those of animals.

Some other examples: changing schools and not telling the new teacher that your child has had trouble with X in the past, in the hope that the new start will be good for them and will help them outgrow their issue; not telling your doctor about your shortness of breath, because the doc can't do anything anyway (only applies to those with ready access to doctors, of course;) withholding a piece of information from your lawyer because it won't have any impact anyway; the list goes on.

When people take on a job, any job, they deserve the respect of trusting them to do it the way it should be done. If that means they need some information from me to get it done right, it's respectful of me to give it to them. Withholding it isn't saving them - it's disrespecting them.

Thanksgiving

I'm grateful for my husband. He's well named - my rock, my foundation. We've had nine years married and fourteen together, and we're still going strong.

I'm grateful for my children. I'm grateful for their health, but also for their sweetness and intelligence. I'm even grateful for Claire's toddler exhuberance (aka monkeytude.) I'm grateful for the gentle empathy of Elizabeth and the happy mack truck of Claire, even when the two clash. I'm grateful for every last hug and kiss.

I'm grateful for my extended family. We don't always agree, but on the whole we get along well, and there's so much love there. I know I can count on them, for myself and for my loved ones.

I'm grateful for my friends, the family we chose. Together we are more than the sum of our parts.

I'm grateful for the material wealth we enjoy. We're not rich by Western standards, but we never lack for things we need and rarely for things we want, which makes us some of the richest people in the history of this planet. I'm grateful that we work for what we have and are paid fairly for our labours. I'm grateful that the work I do matters. I'm important in the lives of so many children. While there are other callings that are on the same level, there is none higher.

I'm grateful for the region we live in. It is rarely hit by natural disasters - there hasn't been a really bad one since 1958 - and enjoys reasonable seasons and good land. I don't think there's anywhere else in the world I would have chosen to be born and grow up. I'm grateful for my country, whose big political issues are problems even our nearest neighbours would give their right arms for the ability to trade for their own. We've done a pretty good job of this social democracy thing, all things considered.

Happy Thanksgiving.