I wish this were a joke.

Help, Mom, there are Liberals under my bed!"

I should write a sequel. "Help, Mom, My Health Insurance Premiums Cost Twice as Much as my Profits!" Or maybe, "Hey, Mom, Those Gays Buy Lots of Lemonade!"

What is a Conservative?

Other than, "not me?"

merlyn4441 posted a link to a site that actually defines the five principles of conservatism, and proves that pretty much none of the current republicans in Washington meet any of them. I find them interesting, and I'm sure there are other rebuttals from a liberal point of view out there, but I'm going to post mine anyway, because that's what a blog is for. :)

So, the itemized list:

-The first necessary ingredient for a conservative is a belief in smaller government. Particularly at the federal level. Statism is Leftism--an all-powerful, centralized government. Conservatives oppose this, embracing state's rights and a smaller, less centralized federal government. This is the foundational cornerstone of conservatism.

Okay, I'm off to a bad start. I believe in efficiency. I want things done in such a way that we spend minimal resources on administering the job and maximal resources on actually doing it. I abhor waste, especially when it comes in the form of back-room payouts for services never rendered. Thus far, I do actually agree with most conservatives. However, I don't believe that government is always the wrong way to go about efficiently doing the job. If a large segment of the population needs a service, and the service is such that many people would be unable to afford it if it were not public, and if private, for-profit provision of that service will serve shareholders better than customers (for example, in the insurance industry, particularly heath insurance) then perhaps the government is the right organization to provide the service. Also, it is sometimes easier to hold a government accountable for their actions than an individual company.

-The second necessary ingredient for a conservative is a belief in national sovereignty and isolationism. Conservatives do not believe in foreign aid or foreign entanglements. They revere American sovereignty. Yes, conservatives do believe in a strong national defense--but national defense as mandated by the Constitution and the Monroe Doctrine. An invasive military empire is not mandated. Therein lies a crucial difference.

I don't like invasive military empires. I'm also not particularly crazy about isolationism. I believe in the UN - or rather, I believe in what it stands for, not in what it is currently capable of doing. So, I want a happy medium on this one.

-The third necessary ingredient is a belief in the Rule of Law---beginning with the Constitution of the United States. The Bill of Rights is essentially sacrosanct. A conservative does not believe in a "living Constitution".

This is one of the ones where I agree, in a Canadian context, of course. Naturally, that muddies the waters: our Charter of Rights and Freedoms is younger than I am and created by the most liberal of the Liberal Prime Ministers, Pierre Elliot Trudeau.

-A fourth necessary ingredient to conservatism is a belief in traditional values. It is here that politics over such things as Roy Moore's Ten Commandments come into play. However, traditional values, are, by their very nature, regressive. It is true that there is no constitutional separation of church and state, as commonly stated, but there is also Freedom of Worship, and a generalized restriction of government authority. Therefore no allowances exist for the federal government to dabble in the religion business one way or the other. Real conservatives, being strict constructionists, would protect the religious rights of the individual without exploiting Christianity for seizure of power.

I think this one needs more explanation, but I have a feeling I'd disagree with it. In the words of the same great liberal mentioned above, "The State does not belong in the bedrooms of the nation." As far as I'm concerned, consenting adults can do whatever they want so long as it doesn't impinge on anyone else's freedom to do whatever THEY want. My personal values are fairly traditional, but they don't necessarily spill over into the political sphere, nor is there any reason why they should.

So, I'm not sure if I disagree or not. I can see points of agreement there, but I frame them differently.

-The fifth necessary ingredient to conservatism is adherence to principle. The stubborn instinct to stand firm on issues, rejecting political expediency, in other words. Conservatism cannot exist without an ideological backbone, because one of the most basic philosophies behind conservatism is preservation of tradition. Traditions cannot survive in the absence of principles.

Aside from a knee-jerk reaction based, I think, in the anthropology and psychology I've studied, (which say that tradition can certainly exist in the absence of principles and that principles are usually justifications for existing traditions rather than reasons for them - at the very best, there's a serious chicken-or-the-egg question inherent in that statement) I mostly agree here. I try hard to be consistent in my beliefs, though I've certainly been known to change them, usually because someone convinced me through reasoned and respectful debate.

So, basically, two out of five. That settles it, then. I'm more liberal than conservative.