Jun. 11th, 2006

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Disclaimer: I am very grateful for, and will use, everything that has already been purchased for Claire. This is information to inform future purchases only. (It does help that everything I've received so far has fit the guidelines. :)

Sooner or later, everyone (or at least, every woman) finds themselves buying a gift for a baby. If you've never been a parent, it can be a confusing world. Heck, it can be confusing even if you are a parent. So I'm writing a short guide to gifts that will make the mother remember you fondly while she is using them.

First, a few things about newborns. They can't hold up their heads for several months. They can't sit up reliably until six months. The movement of limbs is extremely uncoordinated at first - discovering hands and feet is a major landmark of the first few months. The ability to grasp an object comes around three months, but the ability to continue holding it develops after that - that is, they will pick it up and immediately drop it again. Their coordination of muscle movement develops very gradually over the first year - the ability to set a goal, i.e. pull on something, tends to develop before the ability to give that direction to the brain, so the baby will push away the thing she's trying to get.

For clothing: if it has to go on or off over the head, don't buy it in a size smaller than six months. As a benchmark, picture trying to hold a screaming, poopy baby while trying to get the soiled garment off. If the baby can just lay there while the garment is unfastened, then be picked up and have it removed from the change table, you have a winner. Remember that explosive poops tend to explode up the back first, and no mother will think kindly of you if taking off your gift created the need to wash poop out of the baby's hair.

By a similar token, remember that babies generally dislike having their faces covered even after the newborn period. If it goes over the head anytime before age two, make sure the neck is nice and wide, or can be made so by opening some snaps. The turtleneck that takes thirty seconds to pull over the ears is the turtleneck that will be worn exactly once.

Tiny babies and socks do not mix. They kick them off. So outfits with built-in feet tend to work well until they start to get about on their own, sometime between six months and a year most of the time.

Babies generally need one layer more than adults would wear in similar weather, and they're supposed to be completely shielded from the sun. Mostly, one-piece sleepers are ideal for the first few months - in fabrics that reflect the season. Don't buy fleece in tiny sizes for spring babies! It will not get worn. Similarly, spring or summer babies don't need a dozen sweater-and-hat sets; two or three for cool days is plenty. Deficiencies in warmth of wardrobe are easily remedied with an extra receiving blanket, which doubles as a burp cloth and nursing cover-up.

And if all of this is too confusing for you, go with the default rule: when in doubt, buy big. The child is likely to wear a size two (2T) for two or three seasons, so if you buy something springlike in that size, they're almost certain to get some wear out of it. You'll also be filling a wardrobe gap - after most shower gifts have been outgrown, before the family has recovered financially from the maternity leave. And, kids aged two can help dress themselves, so some earlier wardrobe concerns are less important at that age.

Toys: Avoid things with complicated controls that require a very specific hand action (like turning a dial or pulling a lever) to make them work. Instead, look for toys that do fun things when they're knocked around: cubes that make a different animal noise when baby knocks them to a different side, big push-buttons that allow flailing limbs to meet with success, soft-sided balls or blocks, items with different textures and colours in different spots, things that swing when hit or kicked, and other stimulating toys. Remember that everything will go in baby's mouth, so it should be easy to wash - either dishwasher- or washing-machine safe.

Key rule: Keep it simple! There's a reason why balls and blocks exist in every culture - it's because they're great toys. A variation on a balls or blocks theme will be developmentally appropriate, stimulating, and fun for a long time to come.

Last category: books. For tiny ones, cloth or vinyl books are handy, because they won't be destroyed by a bit of oral investigation. After that, look for the Lamaze series of board books - they're fabulous. Things with flaps or other simple play-along devices are good. And a well-told, well-illustrated storybook is a good addition to any kid's library - the'll grow into it eventually.

So that's it: how to buy practical things for babies. This guide brought to you by the letters C and E. :)

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