velvetpage (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
velvetpage) wrote2005-04-09 07:25 am
velvetpage) wrote2005-04-09 07:25 am
The great Canadian get-together
I wish I could say the evening had been an unqualified success, but I really can't. There were good things, and there were things to improve for next time, and I'm going to document both as best I can.
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anguine, but that will be rectified next time. mizheekay would have been a bit intimidating, I think, if I hadn't been reading her lj and therefore been aware of a few things. Chalk one up for lj, there. We had some time to chat - a couple teacher anecdotes, some personal history stuff, and the usual first-meeting chitchat. That was nice. In a similar vein, triatic and I hit it off well. I'm looking forward to getting to know them better.
On the downsides were items like location and planning. Due to a comedy of errors and no one being really aware of all the details, no one really realized exactly how far from Ad Astra the new location was. In a similar vein, it might have been quicker forsassy_fae and I to take the GO into Mississauga and take transit from there, rather than going all the way to Union and then back west along Bloor. It was nearly eight o'clock by the time we got there, and most others had been there forty-five minutes by that time. So when people started preparing to leave by ten, I was a bit nonplussed. I felt like I was just getting going. Hopefully next time we can find a location convenient for TTC people AND those in Brampton to make it to conveniently. Also, no one apparently realized how many people were coming - so no one called ahead. That meant that for the first half hour after sassy_fae and I arrived, we were moving tables and seats in an effort to be all together in our own party. The pub itself was excellent, and the food was wonderful and reasonably priced.
That's the run-down. Overall, I had a good time, and my impression was that others did too, for the most part. It was a shamemelskunk and her husband couldn't stay longer, though.
Baby's up, and I have to get ready for my aunt to arrive in two hours. I wonder if I can squeeze in a workout, here? I think I'm going to try, but if I do it has to be soon. TTYL, lj, and I plan to take the digital camera with me when we go fabric shopping so I can show the costume/crafty people on my list the wonders of Ottawa STreet.
anguine, but that will be rectified next time. mizheekay would have been a bit intimidating, I think, if I hadn't been reading her lj and therefore been aware of a few things. Chalk one up for lj, there. We had some time to chat - a couple teacher anecdotes, some personal history stuff, and the usual first-meeting chitchat. That was nice. In a similar vein, triatic and I hit it off well. I'm looking forward to getting to know them better.On the downsides were items like location and planning. Due to a comedy of errors and no one being really aware of all the details, no one really realized exactly how far from Ad Astra the new location was. In a similar vein, it might have been quicker for
sassy_fae and I to take the GO into Mississauga and take transit from there, rather than going all the way to Union and then back west along Bloor. It was nearly eight o'clock by the time we got there, and most others had been there forty-five minutes by that time. So when people started preparing to leave by ten, I was a bit nonplussed. I felt like I was just getting going. Hopefully next time we can find a location convenient for TTC people AND those in Brampton to make it to conveniently. Also, no one apparently realized how many people were coming - so no one called ahead. That meant that for the first half hour after sassy_fae and I arrived, we were moving tables and seats in an effort to be all together in our own party. The pub itself was excellent, and the food was wonderful and reasonably priced. That's the run-down. Overall, I had a good time, and my impression was that others did too, for the most part. It was a shame
melskunk and her husband couldn't stay longer, though.Baby's up, and I have to get ready for my aunt to arrive in two hours. I wonder if I can squeeze in a workout, here? I think I'm going to try, but if I do it has to be soon. TTYL, lj, and I plan to take the digital camera with me when we go fabric shopping so I can show the costume/crafty people on my list the wonders of Ottawa STreet.
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I used to be friend with Mizheekay but I hear she hates me since the split with Patrick. I'm hoping it's not true, but my last trip to Canada did bring things home about the fleeting nature of friendships sometimes. Does get me wondering sometimes.
Nice to hear about what you are all getting up to tho.
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You're all my friends, and that's final.
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In the spirit of peace and friendship...
Patrick and I are dear friends, and sometimes I was his shoulder when he needed to talk but that doesn't mean I hate you, or even dislike you. As I was the one he chose to talk to, of course I validated his feelings -as any friend would- but it is not my place to judge anyone. Having been through some messy breakups in the past, I know that there are two sides to everything. I've known Pat through good times and bad times, so I've seen many sides to his character (as he has mine, and I am painfully human...), and he was very honest about the areas in which he felt he fell short of what was needed to make your relationship work. So, although I validated him by saying I could see why he would feel the way he did in certain situations, it never crossed my mind to think that his side was the only side of the story, or that you didn't go through pain and suffering and sadness too.
I know you two went through some tough times, but I can also see the ways in which your relationship brought him to who he is now. He learned so much in his time with you, and although things were rough at the end, there was a lot of good stuff between you two for a long time. Along with many great memories, your relationship brought him all kinds of gifts- he knows himself better, communicates differently, and even told me he's more flexible about things than he ever was before, all because of you. In the aftermath of your relationship, and in the time leading up to your return to Canada, I encouraged Patrick to not put himself in a situation where old wounds would be reopened, and to follow his heart and do what he felt he could handle. If my support for his healthy boundaries (set by him, I never told him what to do) has been twisted and misconstrued through the grapevine as hatred for you then I am so sorry that you've been feeling that all this time. It was never intended to be thus. As for your trip to Canada, I was never even clear on the dates you were here, and only heard about it after. It was a chaotic,difficult time in my life at that moment in time so I wasn't really on top of things. I've checked in with your lj occasionally to see how things are going in your life - which is always unique, creative and inspiring. I honestly can't think of anything else that might have given you that impression, but if you want to talk about it more, sort through it and come to some peace on the matter I encourage you to email me.(writeange@hotmail.com)
[Velvetpage, I hope that you don't feel put in the middle by me posting this via your lj. I thought about it before I responded, and thought that you would understand given the peaceful intention of it. If you want to please feel free to delete it - I've copied it to a word file so I can email it to Redstorm if needed.]
Re: In the spirit of peace and friendship...
I want to talk to you about this. I'll email you off Velvetpages LJ, I don't want to spam it up. Thanks for taking the time to reply. :)
Re: In the spirit of peace and friendship...
Re: In the spirit of peace and friendship...
So if you two want to continue this in this thread, that's fine by me. It's peaceful and respectful, so I'm happy.
Re: In the spirit of peace and friendship...
LJ is a wondrous, creative and nurturing creature most of the time, but that very power is what can make it so dangerous.
Fortunately, lj drama averted. I, too, am glad that this conversation has begun to unfold. Thanks!
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And yes, I haven't touched the peanut butter eggs since yesterday. :)
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First, I didn't find you intimidating. But I would have, if I hadn't known about some things - weight stuff, family stuff, I'm sure you can guess what. I think partly that's because you were fully "turned on", so to speak, on Friday. That is, you set out to be charming and personable, and you succeeded so admirably that if I hadn't been aware of some struggles, my reaction would probably have been something like, "How disgustingly perfect."
This is a failing on my part, not yours. There are still remnants in my personality of the perfectionist I was as a child and a teenager, and that tends to come out the most in new social situations. I was fully "turned on" myself, so I recognized it, and the energy it can take to do that. If I'd thought that was always you, it would have driven me crazy. But it's not always me, so it stands to reason it's not always you, either.
It all boils down to us being very much alike in many ways. Extremely private about some things, but so open about others that many people never get as far as seeing the depths, or even realizing they're there. We are both already aware of some of each other's depths, so the initial social interactions could be at the usual surface level without judgements being based on that alone.
Did I explain that reasonably well? Please? I think we're going to be good friends, and I'd hate to think I'd jeopardized that.
response from the depths of which you spoke
No, nothing jeopardized at all! In fact, there's a real irony to the whole situation, because my response was also informed by my youth, so I smiled when I saw your post.
I wrote a big, long-winded response to what you said, but it became too long to post as a comment, so I've put it in my journal instead. It kind of makes sense to put it there, since it became a musing that wandered off into deep personal history, and resulted in a new understanding of a few things about myself and my progress as a whole human being.
Re: response from the depths of which you spoke