Musings on online friendship

[velvetpage]

I was thinking about the phenomenon of which everyone reading this is a part, the idea of having really good friends with whom you converse (sort of) on a near-daily basis, but never (or rarely) actually meet in real life. A few things occurred to me.

First, I have revealed parts of myself online that I have never revealed any other way. There are some things that are still private, of course, but my online friends know more about me (or have the potential to know more about me, if they've been paying attention) than many of my RL friends of longer standing.

I also thought of a better image for a friends list than a list. Lists imply ranking, which is not the case at all. I prefer to see my circle of friends as a Venn diagram. One circle is the people I am friends with in real life; the other is the people I am friends with online. In the middle are the people I know both ways. I value everyone in both circles.

I have to go to a three-year-old's birthday party.

Comments

[pyat.livejournal.com]

I have to go to a three-year-old's birthday party.

And I love you for it.

[paka.livejournal.com]

I think it's a perception of distance thing. Saying the "wrong thing" online and alienating someone isn't as scary as losing someone who's right there within driving distance. Plus, there's still the idea that this is your journal, and very essentially your own.

[georgiaskydiver.livejournal.com]

Very well said. Isn't it funny that we will reveal deeper secrets to total strangers than we will to the people who think they know us best?

Skydivers have an annual get-together of folks who posts to rec.skydiving. People travel from all over the world to meet and party with their online friends. LJ should have a similar party.

[iamradar.livejournal.com]

Just like more people will discuss their problems with their bartender then with their spouse or doctor. *Nodnod*

[georgiaskydiver.livejournal.com]

So true. So true. Why is that?

[velvetpage.livejournal.com]

Not to mention their lawyer. :)

I think it's the idea of a neutral setting. The bartender has nothing to gain beyond the drink of the moment, really, while the spouse has a vested interest in the problem and is quite possibly a part of it, and the doctor usually doesn't have time to listen to everything a person needs to vent about.

[velvetpage.livejournal.com]

Wouldn't there be several million people at it?

I'm thinking that in a few years, when things are more settled, Piet and I might throw a weekend-long party here in Hamilton one summer for all our LJ friends who can make the trip, wherever they're from. Hmm. That's a really cool idea.

[iamradar.livejournal.com]

Venn Diagram...that makes a lot of sense! I have friends IRL, friends on-line, people in-between that I know both ways, acquaintance friends (people I am friendly with but rarely see, either on-line or off-line)...etc.