velvetpage: (chalice)
velvetpage ([personal profile] velvetpage) wrote2008-07-29 11:00 am
Entry tags:

Preserving a comment for posterity

This is me, going public with my change of faith. This entry is not filtered. It's not even friends-locked. I do hope that people who read it will respect that.

The comment:

When a right-wing church in Colorado was targeted by a walkaway with significant mental health problems, he was shot to death by a security guard. That is, a CHURCH thought it was a reasonable expenditure of their money, which came from donations of congregants, to hire someone to protect them with guns.

Contrast that with the response of the UU church in Knoxville, Tennessee, where a gunman was subdued and immobilised until the police could arrive, or the response of the Amish schoolgirls who volunteered to go first in the hopes that their younger classmates would be spared, or their parents who made sure the gunman's widow and children were welcome and cared for and had food to eat - and you'll see far more Christian love in the latter two examples than in the first.

It's HARD to be a Unitarian. It's HARD to believe that whatever you decide to practise, faith-wise, is just about as likely to be right as the next guy's religious practice, and it's HARD to really believe that that's okay. It's HARD to know that the people around you look down on you, possibly even pray for your soul or believe you're a cultist, because you insist on being a seeker, who may or may not ever find. It's HARD to remember that not being an evangelical means you have to accept those who are, without trying to convert them to your way of thinking.

In today's climate, attaching yourself to a church and believing what they tell you to believe is relatively easy, at least publicly; what goes on inside your own head may not be so easy, of course. Committing yourself to a lifetime of religious uncertainty is not wishy-washy or "not really believing much of anything." It's laying your soul open for all to see, and that's not a wishy-washy thing to do.

[identity profile] kibbles.livejournal.com 2008-07-29 04:08 pm (UTC)(link)
When you mention the Amish, I think of something I read a while back, not sure where, but it said "a true Christian isn't afraid to die". And I think that is how those Amish live their lives. I'm not at that point yet, may never be.

[identity profile] velvetpage.livejournal.com 2008-07-29 06:19 pm (UTC)(link)
I used to crave that kind of surety, because I was told that I was supposed to have it, that it was a marker of true faith. I don't think I'm willing to say that a true Christian should be unafraid to die, anymore than I'm willing to define what a true Christian looks like. I suppose that's one of the answers I'm seeking - and probably one of the ones I won't find until it's my turn to die.

[identity profile] kibbles.livejournal.com 2008-07-29 06:30 pm (UTC)(link)
Well I don't like the true anything either, but I understand the sentiment behind it. And it helps keep me focused on being a pacifist. For someone with as much anger as I have, that's important.

I don't think I am AFRAID anymore, at this point I just don't want to, I'd miss everyone too much, and I don't want Ted to be alone.