It's not easy, no. But I don't think it's meant to be. I believe one of our purposes in life is to try to get closer to God, in terms of our relationship with God. And for any relationship to be meaningful, there has to be struggle and hardships endured. My best friend is the person I pooled my money with to buy milk and bread for dinner at the end of the month in university (something I remember quite fondly, mostly because it was shared and we always had something to laugh about), the one who's seen me through many hard times and I her, not the people I've never scratched the surface with. I think if things get too comfortable, it means we're not growing. But I think it's okay to take breaks from growing and be comfortable for a while too.

But I'm still figuring things out.

I've done a lot of looking around and stayed with what I was raised with, deciding it was what fit me the best, all things considered. And I'm happy here, for the most part. I deal with religion is a fairly cyclic fashion. I'll work on my God issues for a while quite intensely and then I'll make peace with things or at least give it a rest for a while. Right now I'm more working on other issues, and I can't muster the energy to iron out my relationship with God too (most of my God issues have nothing to do with religion, luckily), so I'm sort of in an accepting place, where I don't think too much about the things that bother me, and when I do, they don't bother me all that much.